5 SIGNS YOU’RE A BAD MARRIAGEABLE PARTNER

So how do I know the kind of marriage partner I may be? What are the warning signs that tell me I’ll most likely not make my marriage enjoyable? Today on ishare100, Jerry Okelade (Pst) shares with us on 5 signs that you maybe a bad marriageable partner.

Just as a doctor will diagnose a sins through its signs and symptoms in the same way, it so good to diagnose whether you are a good marriage material. In order not drive home my point, it is good to x-ray some of the signs and symptoms of a bad marriage material.

When You’re Selfish

Marriage is not only a commitment a haven where the essence of love is in self-giving. This is not to suggest that you should lose yourself with your spouse, which can also be detrimental to a marriage. It only means if you’re only thinking about yourself, your spouse becomes an object-not a partner- and mutual love cannot grow. If you want him to cater to you constantly without reciprocating, you’re not good when it comes to compromise, and you don’t want to share him with family and friends, chance s are your selfishness will eventually alienate and suffocate him. Most selfish people use their partners’ love against them and hold their partners accountable for their own happiness.

2.     When You’re Extremely Jealous

If you’re a jealous person by nature, this won’t change once you out a ring on it- it’ll only make it worse. Agreed that we’ve all been jealous from time to time, and some may argue that a healthy level of jealousy is actually good for a relationship. However, extreme jealousy is a sign of insecurity, and professing your love before God and guest won’t change feelings of low self-esteem or inadequacy. Now that’ he’s not just your boyfriend, but your husband, your possessiveness will increase tenfold and you will feel threatened by every woman he homes in contact with if you don’t get a handle on your jealousy issues. Be honest with yourself and get help if needed.

3.     When You’re A Party/Club Person

Most men wouldn’t take too kindly to their wife dropping it like it’s hot in the club every night. A few ladies could tolerate a night crawler for a man. There’s nothing wrong with partying and mad marrying and having a good time with friends, but when you have a partner at home who wants to spend quality time with you, it’s not good. Going out with your girls from time to time is great, and he should get out with the peers as well. No one is suggesting that you cut off the rest of the world where you have no outlet. However, the type of opening and frequency should not compromise the amount of time you spend with each other. In marriage, you need to find a balance between being together and being out with others.

4.     When You Do Not Like Children

There is nothing wrong with liking or not wanting children – it’s not for everyone, and it doesn’t automatically exclude you from being seen as a wife material. However, you have to keep in mind that if you are a dating a person who wants children\, or who has children already, then it won’t matter how much you love him/her….it’ll never work. He/she will resent you, and you’ll be miserable. Children are a commitment all on their own aside from marriage, so if you both aren’t united on this front, the marriage will eventually collapse.

5.     When You Are Promiscuous Or A Cheat

Let’s face it, you know if you’re a cheater or not. This is not to say that once a cheater, always a cheater but most people who are repeatedly unfaithful in relationships don’t change unless they truly are ready and they want to. If you want to, then great you can change and be a great wife to a wonderful man. But if you haven’t finished sowing your royal oats, then don’t bring anyone else into your mess. Remain single until you can remain faithful

 

THE BENEFITS OF USING SELF TALK

By Philemon K. Gora

One of the biggest influences that we can use to our advantage in life is oneself. In particular, we can use our thoughts because they influence our feelings and therefore can have a profound effect on how deal with life in general. By learning to control our self-talk and turning it into positive self-talk rather than negative, which most people do unconsciously throughout the day, you can begin to gain more control over every aspect of your life and make essential changes.

Your ability to succeed in life largely depends on how you deal with life, a positive mental attitude leads to a confident and ultimately more successful person than one full of negativity which leads to lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. By taking a positive attitude you look at life in a different way which leads to seeing good in people and the world which leads to optimism and success. Your quality of life is based on how you think and feel from moment to moment and changing the way you think can drastically change how you see life and deal with life.

 The person who goes through life optimistic with a positive attitude is better able to deal with life and the problem which it sometimes throws at us. They are able to bounce and recover from problems or set-backs in life. The optimistic person will see the problem as nothing but a temporary set-back which they can overcome and move on. When looking at life in this optimistic way the person is able to take full control over their thoughts and feelings and turn a negative situation into a more positive one by simply altering the way they think. Since thoughts can either be positive. Since thoughts can either be positive or negative and you can only have one thought in mind at any one time then choosing the positive will keep your thoughts, feelings and actions optimistic which leads to a happier person who is able to achieve their goals much easier.

HOW TO BECOME A BETTER YOU

Today on IShare100 I share you with you some tips on how to become a better you, how to improve on yourself so as to add value to yourself.
If you desire to command respect amongst your peers, at workplace etc without necessarily asking for it, or you desire to have a good self-esteem then it is important that you fine tune or sharpen the qualities you possess. Follow me as we look at seven ways to become a better you.

1. Invest Your Time on BOOKS
Books are written in other to communicate knowledge. This became necessary especially given the fact that man is not an omnipresent being, that is, he cannot be in Nigeria and UK at the same time. Thus man writes in other to share his thoughts, ideas and/or experience with anyone concerned.
It’s time to start reading books. Read books that will transform you into whatever it is you want to become. Read good books that will give you that push to soar higher than you could ever think of. Once you buy a book, check the number of chapters and set a goal on how long you intend to study on that book. I will recommend that you don’t spend more than one month on a book except if it’s necessary. It is also good to do a review of books you’ve read once in a while.

2. Try a New Hobby
It’s time to pick a new hobby, to try something new. Is there something you desire to be doing but you always procrastinate on. It’s now time to start doing that thing.
I’ve always wanted to write articles but always give up as soon as I start. Well, now I don’t just write, I blog thanks to helpful materials like “if you want to write” by Brenda Ueland. Someone recommended it for me, click HERE if you're interested. I currently take piano lessons and very soon also I will be on YouTube. 
So make a list of hobbies you like, pick up one or two and work on till it becomes part of you. It is pertinent to invest your time on things that will develop you.

3. Overcome Your Fears
Where will you be five years from now, if you continue to do what you’re doing right now? Will you be happy with the person you become by then? If not then now is that time to break through those walls. The best way of defeating your fears is embracing it. Don’t let the fear of failure stop you from attaining your objectives. You don’t want to look back at the years you’ve spent on this earth and lament instead of rejoicing.
Build on your self-esteem, change your mentality, Be bold like a lion (or if you like, King David in the Bible), soar high like the eagle, recognize your flaws and work towards perfection. 

4. Be Principled
Stop living your life like a leave tossed about anyhow by the wind. Its okay to learn from people but there should come a point in time in your life when people ought to also learn from you. Have principles or code of conduct you live by.
Don’t be the kind of person who eats anything, maybe anyhow and anywhere, have a good eating habit. Don’t be the people-pleaser kind of person, smoking, drinking or flirting only so you could gain acceptance amongst your peers. BE UNIQUE. be friends with those who have respect for how you feel and respect your own opinion.

5. Seek Mentorship
a wise man once told me, son , if you desire to achieve your vision quicker, find someone who has been where you are and learn from them". Chances are that you will not make the same mistakes that they make while soaring to achieve that dream that you’re currently pursuing. it is good finding someone to watch and advice you. if the personality you seek to learn from isn’t really accessible or not within reach(for reasons such as location or engagements) then consider getting books by that personality.

6. Distance Yourself from Negative People
These guys are like viruses, they can destroy the "born-to-conquer" mentality in you with a single word. They rarely share ideas with you but the moment you bring one, they will give you a hundred and one reasons why that idea won’t work. So keep close friends who build you up or encourage you to do so and distance yourself from those who don’t.

7. Self-talk
People many atimes see us exactly the way we see ourselves. if you keep telling yourself that you’re a failure, then most likely you won’t excel in anything reasonable and the society will end up thinking of you that way (A BIG FAT FAILURE).
So who are you? What you say to yourself about yourself is very important. Stop saying negative things about yourself, have the "Yes, I Can", "I’m special", "I’m unique", "conqueror" mentality. If people don’t agree with you, let them be, for it’s only a matter of time before they are humbled to their knees.

I conclude this article leaving you with a word of wisdom from two great personalities

Henry Ford

“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you are right”

Eleanor Roosevelt

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”

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